Friday, November 11, 2011

TRUE MILK......mmmmmm

 Like true blood. 
but milk.

Even children pee on the sidewalk. 

Standard Pirate

Love this chicks hand placement on the other chick. Andy was enjoying the attention 

peace out

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


IT asked me if I was ok with the 5 dollar fee and I said no -THis is what the ATM said to me - OK I WONT GIVE YOU THE CASH lolololol

Everybody loves Louis Vuitton :) 

 This would not fly at a chanel in scottsdale.

THis guy did some damage at the department store.....

Love, Lauren
PS - I did not do any shopping at the high end retail stores, I wish I was making enough money to buy myself a Chanel bag. 

Monday, October 3, 2011

The Senses

Yesterday my internet wasnt working.....I was feeling under the weather craving some mashed potatoes. So of course the only thing I could do on my computer with out the internet was to mess around on photobooth. I was feeling inspired by a lesson I taught my students earlier in the day about the senses.

Enjoy the next two minutes of your life.

PEace out

Monday, September 19, 2011

Crying RedHead Picture

 This was a picture in a restaurant that Andy and I ate at Last week........
Why would anyone with a cute kitten cry?! It creeped us out for sure.
PS- I don't think you can see the tear clearly in the picture from my photo- Its on the left under her right eye.

And we were really craving some mexican food, so we thought it would be hard to screw up nachos right? well this is what they served us......

*This ones for you Melanie Owens

yes, they're nachos made with DORITO's. Um ew. WHERES THE TORTILLA CHIPS PEOPLE

God I miss you TeePee


Saturday, September 17, 2011

Learn Vietnamese: FOR HOUSEWIFE

Why would a housewife want to learn vietnamese? If you are in fact a "housewife" and confined to your house all day doing your husbands laundry, cooking and raising of the children.....WHY would you be even remotely interested in learning the complicated language of the VIETNAMESE??????????? Unless your husband is taking you on a nice vacation to Vietnam, even then I am positive that "useful phrases" a housewife would be interested in learning wouldn't be "where is the fabric softener." 

While having $2 dollar whiskey buckets one night on good old Bui Vien, we were solicited by the constant annoying sales-people that irritate tourists on an everyday basis.....................

   "you want sunglasses? Very cheap for you!" is about all you hear from the locals. They then shove items in your face and wont walk away until you literally ignore them for about 5 minutes. Its extremely annoying. I myself am pretty patient with these people...I know they must need money if they are trying to sell nail clippers to sex tourists. But I really hate when I am eating or having a conversation and am bothered by the same dude who I just said no to 10 minutes ago. 

There are a few funny salesmen who I enjoy seeing- 10DOLLA! Man- who carries only one item with him at a time and gets something new once he sells that. His voice is extremely raspy, either from smoking or yelling 10 dollas for years over and over again.  I am convinced that its a front and he really just gets drunk all day. 

The massage man is pretty funny, he just walks up and starts rubbing peoples shoulders. Some people are offended that someone would just grab their face, but his grip is actually really good and its hard to say no to him.

.............................anyways this one particular night, instead of having your usual Vietnamese dude come up and and try to sell us books and whisper Marijuana in our ear........A WHITE DUDE had the loot. 


Of course I had time to check out his selection of copied books- and I found a listing of LEARN VIETNAMESE- Please check it out. 


In the comment box feel free to say what "useful vietnamese" sayings could be found in the Vietnamese for housewife addition:

Ill start you off with a few of my favorites- 

"My toilet brush is broken"
"How many cups of sugar do I need to make gingerbread houses this year?!"
"Who let the dogs out?" 

And- if you are in fact a real "housewife" why would you need to talk to anyone anyways? 


PS- I really hope everyone gets my humor and realizes Im not making fun of housewives...but Vietnamese people. I totally respect housewives. I even want to be one someday. 

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Weird Cambodian Experiences

Goodbye Cambodia, I miss you already and I will be back to visit you very soon in deed.

-Yes we were having a tea party in the pool underwater
-Yes I miss driving in TUK TUKS
-Do I miss Sushi Flavored chips? You bet I do
-Do I still want a pet monkey after I saw what that one was doing? Hmm Maybe.
-NO I do not ever want another FISH Pedicure
-No I didnt get to try a spider. I really want to but they are soooooo icky! Why is that little girl throwing live spiders at me????? YEs I am a wimp. Lets see you do it.


Thursday, July 7, 2011

Happy Hour from 7am to MIDNIGHT


 Colin please look at rule 90. Ps the Box is a must here.

 Bubble Princess. This is how LIly ROLES in a tuk tuk in the rain. :) 

Even Monks Need Tuk Tuks. *Video footage of crazy traffic driving on Frizz Control

So far Ive been going to lots of school, eating fried rice and noodles ONLY, and drinking with my new friends at the Language Corps villa. I just taught them what It means to PUSSY Poppin is. 
According to Urban DIC its: The Art of thrusting your pelvic region in and out in order to ensure an item is worthy of your awesomeness......
C: Hey Puss! I like your new dress, Can you pop that pussy in it?"

Or please refer to this song to get your hips gyrating. - SQUEEZE IT by three 6 Mafia!

Sunday, July 3, 2011


 My new roomate is a ICKY BUG!!!!!! Lol to this chicks face. How Perfect. 
This is my shower/ bath - Usually I would be more than delighted to see that there are these removable spouts (SHOUT OUT EUROTRIP LADIES BRIT EM AND JILLY) but alas it is not very high powered....Cant even get the conditioner outta my hair. Bummer

Sex with children is a CRIME

 My first night in Cambodia my hotel room had these signs and I thought it was a perfect entry for my blog. LIKE WHAAAT?
 Love how the checkout time is right underneath is. No biggie

Nothing is what it looks like- #6 DO NOT BUY DRUGS ON THE STREET FROM MOTOBIKERS.


I am currently living in Southeast Asia and will be teaching English in Vietnam. After months of trying to think of a great blog name I was still drawing blanks. The night before I left I went to say goodbye to Stephlo, MjROPE, and Dan Hoyditty. When talking about the exchange rate between dollars and the Vietnamese currency the DONG I made the remark I would be a billiondonger. Hence the name of this blog. My mother told me it was too inappropriate to have for my grandparents and they wouldnt understand. Therefore I decided this would be my fun CRAZY blog and I have  a more appropriate blog called Frizz Control.
Thank you chris brown for this amazing song: LOOK AT ME NOW!

Yellow model chick
Yellow bottle sipping
Yellow Lamborghini
Yellow top missing
Yeah yeah
That sh-t look like a toupee
I get what you get in 10 years, in two days
Ladies love me
I’m on my cool J
If you get what I get what would you say
She wax it all off, Mr Miyagi
And them suicide doors, Hari Kari

Look at me now, look at me now
Oh, I’m getting paper
Look at me now
Oh, look at me now
Yeah, fresh than a muthaf-cker

Lil n-gga bigger than gorilla
Cause I’m killing every n-gga that
Try to be on my sh-t
Better cuff your chick if you with her
I can get her
And she accidentally slip fall on my dick
Ooops, I said on my dick
I aint really mean to say on my d-ck
But since we talking about my dick
All of you haters say hi to it
I’m Done

Ayo Breezy
Let me show you how to keep the dice rolling
When your doing that thing over there, homie
Lets go
Cause I feel like I’m running
And I’m feeling like I gotta get away, get away, get away
Better know that I don’t and I won’t ever stop cause
You know I gotta win everyday day, goooo
See they don’t really wanna pop me
Just know that you never flop me
And I know that I can be a little cocky, nooo
You aint never gonna stop me
Everytime I come a n-gga gotta set it then I got it going
Then I get it, than I blow, than I shudder every little thing
That he be doing cause it doesnt matter cause I’m gonna dadadadada
Then I’m gonna murder every thing and anything a badaboom a badabing
I gotta do a lot of things, and make it clearer to a couple n-ggas
That I’m always winning and I gotta get it again and again and again

I be doing it to death and now I move a little foul
A n-gga better call a ref, everybody know my style
And everybody know I’m the the best
When I come to doing this and Im banging on my chest
And I bang in the east and I'm banging in the west
And I come to give you more and I never give you less
You will hear it in the street or you can read it in the press
Do you really wanna know whats next? lets go
See the way we on, we be all up in the race and you know
We gotta go, don’t try to keep up with the pace
We struggling and hustling and sending in and getting in
And always gotta take it to another place
Gotta taste it, then I gotta grab it,
And I gotta cut all through this traffic
Just to be at the top of the throne
Better know I gotta have it

Look at me now, look at me now
Oh, I’m getting paper
Look at me now
Oh, look at me now
Yeah, fresh than a muthaf-cker

Man f-ck these bitch ass n-ggas how yall doin?
I’m Lil Tunechi, I’m a nuisance, I go stupid, I go dumb like the 3 stooges
I dont eat sushi, I’m the shit, no I’m pollution, no substitution
Got a bitch that play in movies in my jacuzzi, p-ssy juicy
I never gave a f-ck about a hater got money on my radar
Dress like a skater, got a big house, came with a elevator
You n-ggas aint eatin, f-ck it, tell a waiter
Marley said shoot em, and I said ok,If you wanted bullshit then I’m like Olay,I dont care what you say, so don’t even speak
Your girlfriend a freak like Cirque Du Soleil
That’s word to my flag, and my flag red
I’m out of my head, bitch I’m outta my mind from the bottom I climb
You aint hotter at mine, nope, not on my time and I’m not even trying
Whats poppin Slime? nothin five, and if they trippin f-ck em five
I aint got no time to shuck and jive, these n-ggas as sweet as pumpkin pie
Ciroc and sprite on a private flight
Bitch I’m enticing, guiding light, and my pockets white and my diamonds white
And my mommas nice and my daddy’s gay
You faggots scared cause I’m too wild, been here for a while
I was like f-ck trial I puts it down
I’m so young money if you got eyes look at me now, bitch

Look at me now, look at me now
Oh, I’m getting paper
Look at me now
Oh, look at me now
Yeah, fresh than a muthaf-cker

Okay,Is that right?
Im fresher than a mothaf-cker