Friday, November 11, 2011

TRUE MILK......mmmmmm

 Like true blood. 
but milk.

Even children pee on the sidewalk. 

Standard Pirate

Love this chicks hand placement on the other chick. Andy was enjoying the attention 

peace out

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


IT asked me if I was ok with the 5 dollar fee and I said no -THis is what the ATM said to me - OK I WONT GIVE YOU THE CASH lolololol

Everybody loves Louis Vuitton :) 

 This would not fly at a chanel in scottsdale.

THis guy did some damage at the department store.....

Love, Lauren
PS - I did not do any shopping at the high end retail stores, I wish I was making enough money to buy myself a Chanel bag. 

Monday, October 3, 2011

The Senses

Yesterday my internet wasnt working.....I was feeling under the weather craving some mashed potatoes. So of course the only thing I could do on my computer with out the internet was to mess around on photobooth. I was feeling inspired by a lesson I taught my students earlier in the day about the senses.

Enjoy the next two minutes of your life.

PEace out

Monday, September 19, 2011

Crying RedHead Picture

 This was a picture in a restaurant that Andy and I ate at Last week........
Why would anyone with a cute kitten cry?! It creeped us out for sure.
PS- I don't think you can see the tear clearly in the picture from my photo- Its on the left under her right eye.

And we were really craving some mexican food, so we thought it would be hard to screw up nachos right? well this is what they served us......

*This ones for you Melanie Owens

yes, they're nachos made with DORITO's. Um ew. WHERES THE TORTILLA CHIPS PEOPLE

God I miss you TeePee


Saturday, September 17, 2011

Learn Vietnamese: FOR HOUSEWIFE

Why would a housewife want to learn vietnamese? If you are in fact a "housewife" and confined to your house all day doing your husbands laundry, cooking and raising of the children.....WHY would you be even remotely interested in learning the complicated language of the VIETNAMESE??????????? Unless your husband is taking you on a nice vacation to Vietnam, even then I am positive that "useful phrases" a housewife would be interested in learning wouldn't be "where is the fabric softener." 

While having $2 dollar whiskey buckets one night on good old Bui Vien, we were solicited by the constant annoying sales-people that irritate tourists on an everyday basis.....................

   "you want sunglasses? Very cheap for you!" is about all you hear from the locals. They then shove items in your face and wont walk away until you literally ignore them for about 5 minutes. Its extremely annoying. I myself am pretty patient with these people...I know they must need money if they are trying to sell nail clippers to sex tourists. But I really hate when I am eating or having a conversation and am bothered by the same dude who I just said no to 10 minutes ago. 

There are a few funny salesmen who I enjoy seeing- 10DOLLA! Man- who carries only one item with him at a time and gets something new once he sells that. His voice is extremely raspy, either from smoking or yelling 10 dollas for years over and over again.  I am convinced that its a front and he really just gets drunk all day. 

The massage man is pretty funny, he just walks up and starts rubbing peoples shoulders. Some people are offended that someone would just grab their face, but his grip is actually really good and its hard to say no to him.

.............................anyways this one particular night, instead of having your usual Vietnamese dude come up and and try to sell us books and whisper Marijuana in our ear........A WHITE DUDE had the loot. 


Of course I had time to check out his selection of copied books- and I found a listing of LEARN VIETNAMESE- Please check it out. 


In the comment box feel free to say what "useful vietnamese" sayings could be found in the Vietnamese for housewife addition:

Ill start you off with a few of my favorites- 

"My toilet brush is broken"
"How many cups of sugar do I need to make gingerbread houses this year?!"
"Who let the dogs out?" 

And- if you are in fact a real "housewife" why would you need to talk to anyone anyways? 


PS- I really hope everyone gets my humor and realizes Im not making fun of housewives...but Vietnamese people. I totally respect housewives. I even want to be one someday. 

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Weird Cambodian Experiences

Goodbye Cambodia, I miss you already and I will be back to visit you very soon in deed.

-Yes we were having a tea party in the pool underwater
-Yes I miss driving in TUK TUKS
-Do I miss Sushi Flavored chips? You bet I do
-Do I still want a pet monkey after I saw what that one was doing? Hmm Maybe.
-NO I do not ever want another FISH Pedicure
-No I didnt get to try a spider. I really want to but they are soooooo icky! Why is that little girl throwing live spiders at me????? YEs I am a wimp. Lets see you do it.


Thursday, July 7, 2011

Happy Hour from 7am to MIDNIGHT


 Colin please look at rule 90. Ps the Box is a must here.

 Bubble Princess. This is how LIly ROLES in a tuk tuk in the rain. :) 

Even Monks Need Tuk Tuks. *Video footage of crazy traffic driving on Frizz Control

So far Ive been going to lots of school, eating fried rice and noodles ONLY, and drinking with my new friends at the Language Corps villa. I just taught them what It means to PUSSY Poppin is. 
According to Urban DIC its: The Art of thrusting your pelvic region in and out in order to ensure an item is worthy of your awesomeness......
C: Hey Puss! I like your new dress, Can you pop that pussy in it?"

Or please refer to this song to get your hips gyrating. - SQUEEZE IT by three 6 Mafia!